Well I had a few set backs, unfortunately had some problems with my eldest spawn and her dad, but hopefully things are getting back on track. Also my health has been up and down. But I take full responsibility on that one. As I do tend to burn the candles at both ends, you'd think at 43 I'd know better by now.
In my first ever blog I wrote about learning how to accept me for how and what I am. Something that I have struggled with for years. As no doubt so have countless others. We beat ourselves up on a daily basis why? We certainly wouldn't let others do that to us, but yet we give ourselves such a hard time. When we are paid a compliment we brush it off, instead of accepting it.
Earlier this year I was lucky to meet a mind coach. Who helped but quite a few things into perspective. How can we expect others to love and like us when we don't like or love ourselves!! We moan about this and that, why does this always happen to me!! It's not my fault I just never have any luck, bad things always happen to me. Yip I'm guilty of doing every single one of those things. We carry so much negative baggage round with us from the past etc... Why? Does it serve us in anything, has it helped us in anyway!! The answer is yes, it has and it did. But learning to let go of it is the hardest part.
I walked into the first session with my mind coach. He pulled no punches told it has he saw it, which is just how I like things. One of the things I said to him was "the bad stuff that I've held onto, is what has kept me safe. But it has also held me back from achieving so much more" and this is what we do to ourselves. I always told myself I couldn't do things as I was to stupid or I would fail. Now I know yes, new things can be scary and yes you might not achieve what you expected. But at least you gave it a go, if it worked out great, if it didn't at least you tried and you have learned from that experience.
Learning to love yourself is the hardest lesson of all. Some might think that it's vain to love yourself or mistake it for being arrogant, or up yourself. It's none of those things, in order to love, you have to start with yourself. How can you expect others to love you, if you don't. It has taken me years to work this one out. Yes there's days I look in the mirror and think "oh you look a bit rough today, but I still love me" then there's days when I look "and think looking good girl" Once you learn to love you, you will be able to see the difference in how others react to you. The amount of people who come up and tell me that they love how I dress or have my hair, or they love my ink is amazing. This is something that I never thought I would accept in my life, as I'd always been so hard and negative about me. Not no more though :) I have learned to accept these compliments whole heartedly.
I now have a wonderful man in my life to whom I'm getting married to next year. I have lost some weight. Started to learn how to sew (made my first top). Done my first weekender at Hemsby, didn't dance as I'm still having my jive lessons. I have some amazing friends new and old. I've made myself goals that I want to achieve out of my life. Which I continue to re-assess. Life is good, don't get me wrong I don't look at life through rose tinted glasses, I don't!! I now just look at life differently and with a different approach. I won my first give away competition the other day thank you to The Rockabilly Girl Next Door (Nadia) if none of you have ever been on her blog go and take a peak, especially if your into Rockabilly. She is a lovely person :)
So folks the next time someone pays you a compliment, accept it. You might just be surprised at how good it makes you feel :)
Below me now, got to say I'm loving, loving me :) xx
